Love is Reinvention

No matter how many times someone tramples on your heart you must remember that each attempt at love is reinvention itself. This deserves your best attention and intention. If we give ourselves up for anything better than the distant hope of uncertainty we will be frequently disappointed but also presented with great opportunity for growth. 

Creation & Community: Working with Teresa Flowers

Creation & Community: Working with Teresa Flowers

Several months ago I crossed paths with an artist by the name of Teresa Flowers. I knew nearly nothing about her except that she had just moved to Los Angeles from Salt Lake City and I was going to take some photos of her and her work for a magazine article. I had no idea I would be meeting someone whose artwork and attitude would inspire and motivate me to begin actualizing my own creative desires -- never mind becoming involved in hers too.  But that is exactly what happened. 

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Proximity

With enough distance the ‎illusions‬ of ‪‎love‬ fade.

The chemical reactions of the brain fizzle as absence‬ allows for an ‪amnesia‬ of sorts.

Yet, the ‪desire ‬to be touched remains.

Those who leave marks on our memories might drive us mad...

If not for the passage of ‪‎time‬ and the touch of other ‪‎hands‬.

Tears are never wasted

I've been through this pain before. I know it well. There is an aching knot where my stomach should be and my head clashes ceaselessly with my heart. My mind loops memories of moments passed, attempting to understand why this wasn't real or how I missed that. And I hate it. But I'm learning - working out how to channel the feelings into something more and hopefully create a bit of art or inspiration from this mess. 

Dualities: A Deeper Look

I don't quite know where this is going yet but it feels like something. A few experimental self-portraits to tease out what I can before moving on to more interesting subjects -- other people. 

Consider this a jumping off point for a portrait series that focuses on the duality of our inner and exterior beings -- the faces we let others see and those we keep to ourselves. An examination of the positive and negative charges within us all and the power they create.

Ain't nothin but a me thing

In those dusty shadows lay the twisted visions of a let down generation. 

Those daydreamers, schemers, and lazy post-babyboom lemurs;

Who bide their time and abuse their minds -- fixated on fame and success.

But baby that's empty. Ain't nothing worth saving there. Get out while you can.

If you can. When you can. How you can. Put down that tall can.

Quit kicking that ole' tin can down the road. Same as it was passed to you.

Battered and dented, rusted and haunted, there's nothing in there coming out.

Faith won't fix it. Money won't buy it. Power's not so powerful here.

So don't even try it. Bullshit is not an accepted currency in this place, I fear.

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Photo Frenzy: Amadeus Mag - Gianni Arone

Because it bears repeating, every now and again I take photos for an art/music/culture magazine called Amadeus. I happily photograph creatives across Los Angeles while chatting with them about art, duh! So, I figured I would share some shots from my recent visit with the multi-talented and self-taught LA-native Gianni Arone. You'll have to pick up the next copy of Amadeus Mag this summer to get the full scoop on this inspirational young painter. For now, here are some snaps to get you going...

Photo Frenzy: Amadeus Mag -Teresa Flowers

Sometimes I take photos for this kick ass art/music/culture magazine called Amadeus. This happens to be one of my favorite things. I get to meet passionate and interesting artists who talk to me about what they love doing most and I get to take their pictures. Sure doesn't suck...

These are a few images from my time spent with the inspiring LA newcomer (Salt-Lake City transplant) Teresa Flowers. You can read the full interview with Teresa and see more pictures of her work at: http://amadeusmag.com/blog/teresa-flowers-a-multidimensional-approach/

Suffering & Wisdom: Finding Inspiration in Proust

"Griefs, at the moment when they change into ideas, lose some of their power to injure our heart." - M. Proust

While we are more than able to use our minds without being in pain, it is my experience that we become most inquisitive when distressed. We suffer,  and we consider this pain carefully, so as to place the it in context. It helps to understand its origins, plot its dimensions, and reconcile ourselves to its presence. 

One might argue, and some have, that reading Proust's opus "In Search of Lost Time" is itself painfully difficult. Hence it would stand to reason that the story has a lot to teach us. 

One of these lessons is how to suffer successfully and to learn from our pain - something I have found quite inspirational of late. Ignorance may be blissful, but it is when we engage with our grief,  we have the incentive to confront difficult truths. 

Suffering it seems opens up the possibilities for intelligent, imaginative inquiry...and Proust might make the point that reoccurring misery develops a heartier more workable approach for life. Something more attainable than a utopian quest for the perfect and happy life. 

 

Unfettered

Disillusionment is difficult . But truth is harder still . And anger turns up so often . In our search for love . Dysfunction is natural . As a reaction to deceit . Leaving us to wonder . What normalcy might be . Now facts may be formidable . But intimacy takes the cake . The challenge: Baring all your parts . Hoping you won’t break . So naked we plead for compassion . And partners whose peculiarities . Harmonize in our sighs . Given we’re in tune with . What rests between our thighs . Before we’re entangled . In what amity might imply . Realize apropos of nothing . Spiritual intercourse will . Forever catch our eye . And the cycle just keeps going . As we struggle for faith . Clinging to the hope . That in time our . Consciousness will wake . 

Amadeus Magazine Feature

One of my dearest friends, an awesome chick named Alex Khatchadorian (who happens to be one hell of a music and art devotee), asked me to get involved with her latest creative endeavor -- a digital and print publication dedicated to all things art and music in Los Angeles. The proper name for this creative venture is Amadeus Magazine. Find all the juicy goodness online at: www.amadeusmag.com.

You can see some of my shots for Amadeus here and read a brief interview about my photographic fascination with LA, here

 

The Invitation

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. 

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.  I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from God’s presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, your or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the Center of the Fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Organic Connections

Perhaps it is the entirely effortless progression of interaction between human beings — where each exists in the other’s world without forcing development in their own interest. Instead the common practice is to naturally influence the trajectory of life by being present. Each moment of intentional existence is defined by a genuine desire to be invested totally in living creatively.

 

Catalysts

There are moments when you just need someone to say yes. To help you open the door. So you can find out what you are made of and who you can become. When one person helps create opportunity for another in this way the effect is exponential. From the time we are children, granted family provides, we learn to love the possibilities of affirmation. Even those who come to understand the potential of the human spark later in life grasp its importance. Opening our minds and hearts to co-creation, to love, is the way we evolve.